Turn and face the strange, ch-ch-chupacabra...

They found a chupacabra, the legendary “goat sucker,” in Kentucky. So, of course, they shot it.

Wonder what it tasted like?

Eagan gator, shown actual size

Guess what the cops pulled out of a pond just up the road from us in Eagan? A gator. That’s right, global warming deniers. A friggin’ tropical lizard swimming around a pond in a residential area, trolling for chihuahuas.

Here’s a map showing our house and where the pair-of-boots-on-the-half-shell was found and subdued by Eagan Police (A), just a short gator hop from Chez Mooses (B). Gators don’t know how to use GoogleMaps, do they?

This looks like a job for....

WTF

Man found burned in apartment with no sign of fire

KNOXVILLE, Tenn. – Investigators are baffled as to how a man suffered second- and third-degree burns inside his apartment — even though the only sign of a fire was a candle in the bathroom. Knoxville Fire Department crews found the 56-year-old victim inside his apartment bathroom Monday afternoon with third-degree burns to his face and second-degree burns to his hands.

Officials say they knocked on the door of the unit at Cagle Terrace Apartments, and went inside when they heard someone moaning.

The man, who was not identified, was later taken to a burn center for treatment.

Fire officials say their investigation is ongoing.

Watch out, Dad, the aliens are coming for you. They’re headed west on I-40!