We had Ojibwe class today at Dakota Ridge School in ISD196. We have culture and language classes every other Saturday. Today, we heard the Ojibwe flood story and learned vocabulary words related to the story beforehand (using the Smart Board and games). It was a blast — a multi-generational class made up of students from many different tribes and some non-native guests. We followed up class with traditional crafts — today we made necklaces, bracelets and chokers out of sinew, beads and shells. Our teacher, James Vukelich, is a real treasure and has melded technology and traditional teachings in a way that makes students want to learn. His teaching style makes what could be a tough language to master accessible to students of all ages. Chi-miigwetch, James.

May the lord strike me dead if I am lying...

Getting a lot of messages these days from something called Friend FAQ on Facebook. It asks people questions about me, tells me the answers then wants to charge me “50 coins” to find out who gave the answers. I had to laugh at some of the questions and responses. Here they are, with the purported answers and my corrections. So if any of you are curious and want the real scoop, read on:

Do you think that Art Coulson has ever mooned someone?
No (Heh. You obviously have never seen me after one too many beers)
Do you think that Art Coulson would secretly fart in public?
No  (Ehhhhhhh. Sorry, wrong answer. I ONLY do so secretly)
Would Art Coulson make a good spouse?
Yes (Thanks, hon)
Do you think that Art Coulson is a slacker?
Yes (Correct!)
Do you think that Art Coulson is cute?
Yes (Thanks, sis)
Do you think that Art Coulson is a liar?
Yes (Correct! But only to those I love when I think it will keep me out of trouble…)

Jesse (right) and her BFF Allie all dressed up for Halloween. I'm not sure, but I think they were supposed to be The Go Gos. Hah

Would you like fries with that?

Halloween 2009 was a blast. Both girls hung out with friends (Katie at work at Papa Murphys and then at the movies to see, believe it or not, Saw VI; Jesse trick-or-treating with a gang of suburban hoodlums then to a friend’s party in Burnsville).

I was left to man the front door with a bowl of candy — sort of like handing a plate of brains to a zombie. We had about 50 kids total, 3 or 4 big clumps, then the occasional group of 2 or 3. Kept me hopping for a couple of hours as I tried to watch Hostel II on the DVR.

Jesse and Allie did a great job making each other into goth girls. I dared them to wear their outfits to school on Monday, but so far, no takers on that dare. Jesse also helped her sister dress up as Wendy, from the hamburger joint, at the last minute before she headed off to work at the pizza shop. She did a great job whipping together a costume filled with irony for her sister in just 30 minutes. She has the Halloween touch all right.

We dropped by Papa Murphys for one of their over-advertised jack-o-lantern pizzas, which Katie made for us. Wish I had a picture. I defy you to make a jack-o-lantern out of the pizza we received. It was tasty, though.

Hope everyone had a fun holiday and didn’t get too sick on all that candy.

Bill Roehl, Danni, Josh and I represented the South Metro in the Ghost Wing Challenge Tournament of Champions at the Girvan Grille on Monday night. Once again, the whole gang at the Grille treated us like royalty (Note to FTC: The Girvan Grille provided me and the other 11 champions all the free ghost wings we could eat in 10 minutes, plus three free beers — Summit EPA in my case. Also got a nifty Vikings T-shirt and a bottle opener, courtesy of Anheuser-Busch).

After the challenge, we stayed to watch the Vikes dismantle the Packers and to drink a few more pints of cold, frosty beer. Check out Bill’s harrowing and hilarious write-up here. And watch the video of all the action below (courtesy of LazyLightning.org):

Girvan Grille Ghost Wing Challenge Tournament of Champions! from Bill Roehl on Vimeo.

The wings were hotter and saucier than the two times we ate them before. I tried to just plow through them with a minimum of pausing and/or breathing. A couple of the competitors whipped through three or four plates by the time I finished my second. So as I began my third plate, thinking I was out of contention, I slowed way down and ate just two wings in the final 3 minutes, bringing me to a final tally of 22. When the head chef counted the bones of each contestant, however, he disqualified half-eaten wings, giving the winner just 28 wings and second place just 27. Had I known I was that close, I would have powered through a few more.Yes, I am that stupid.

Danni and Josh both made it to 10 wings and stopped and Bill bravely met his goal of 20 wings, earning him 5th place. A couple of other competitors dropped out really early (did I mention the wings seemed even hotter this time?) and one of our challengers, who shall remain nameless — mostly because I don’t know his name — ended the contest by losing his wings in the men’s room stall. He probably felt a heckuva lot better than the rest of us later that night and following day. I was still dancing with the devil all day today, probably because I had warmed-up ghosts for dinner last night. The folks at the Grille made Bill and me up to-go boxes with a couple of dozen wings each, as well as a to-go pint of the wing sauce. Satan, get thee behind me. Never mind, you’re already there…

Here’s a Homecoming Dance photo you don’t see every day. This is a shot of Katie and her friends at laser tag — still in their gowns — after Eastview High School’s Homecoming Dance Saturday night. I’m pretty sure Jesse Ventura just let out a high-pitched squeal and piddled a little in his Navy Seal boots looking at this picture. Nice job, ladies. By the way, the president is on the line. He has a mission for you. This blog post will self-destruct in 10 seconds…

Ahhhhhhhh. The wings. They are so hottttttt.

A little over a week to the Ghost Wing Challenge Tournament of Champions. That’s right, Oct. 5 at Girvan Grille will be an all-you-can-eat wing contest for the hardy souls who have conquered the ghosts and proudly wear the T-shirt (and scars) to prove it. Ready, @garciasn? Josh? @dbayn? My mouth is already watering.

Here is a slide show of Katie and her friends (and family) before the big dance tonight.

Jesse: Dad, don't you dare call him Taco...

We had a blast, as usual, at the Renaissance Festival over the weekend. Great people watching, food that’s a cut above county fair food and often-humorous entertainment. What more could you ask for? OK, how about tickets that cost less than $17? Jeez, that’s like slipping the guy a twenty at the entrance to the Burnsville Center food court. Oh, well, and yet we still go back each summer.

We took Jesse and her BFF, Allie, who had never been to RenFest before. Katie went Homecoming dress-shopping with friends and missed out on all the medieval fun. I think AP Euro wrecked the whole Renaissance experience for her…

Anyway, I tucked the Flip in my hip pocket and strolled around the grounds with the three girls. Below are some of the vids I shot.

Enjoy.

Allie and Jesse ride their noble steed around Shakopee. And somewhere, John Prine was singing, “Sabu was sad, the whole tour stunk…”

Check out this monster bubble. I didn’t know that’s what the Renaissance was known for – that, and turkey legs and dill pickles.

In this vid, Allie and Jesse flip over the Renaissance, which, as Jesse tells us, gave her the worst wedgie of all time. For what it’s worth.

A photo from the first challenge, taken by @garciasn and posted on his Flickr stream

Bill, Josh, Danni and I made a pilgrimage to Girvan Grille again this evening for the ghost wing challenge – the second time for each of us and an opportunity to practice for the much-anticipated Oct. 5 Tournament of Champions, which we plan to compete in. Kim chauffeured Bill, Josh and I to the restaurant, where Danni had saved us a table. We went at Happy Hour because the wings were just $5 and ice-cold Summit drafts were $3. Unfortunately, when we got there, the waitress informed us that Happy Hour wings didn’t qualify for the challenge because they were only 5 bucks – which meant we could eat them, but no T-shirt if we finished the plate. Oh well. We ate ‘em anyway, just to see if therethey were as hot as we remembered. They were. Tasty too. I made my way through my 10 meaty wings like a man possessed, barely pausing to breathe (that’s because it felt like I was swallowing fire every time I took a breath). I wolfed down all 10 wings in about 5 minutes and would have eaten more if there had been any in front of me. This was not because I was macho, but because the fire in my mouth and throat didn’t really start to burn until I stopped eating. Bill and Josh both said that the slow method they followed, including occasional gulps of beer, was a mistake. The burn was more intense. Josh said his arms and hands were actually tingling and shaking from the endorphins. Bill and I both got a bit dizzy and Bill’s teeth started to chatter after he completed the 10 wings. Weird. Danni said the slow-eating method worked better for her this time. All in all, a very fun trip and training exercise for the Ghost Wing Challenge Tournament of Champions. Be sure to watch us on ESPN2. OK, just kidding about the whole television thing.

Pucker up!

Katie, Art and one of our cousins....

We spent Labor Day at the Minnesota State Fair. Jesse, Laurie and I had already been once this year, but Katie had not. She wanted to have a deep-fried turkey sandwich, a chocolate malt from the Dairy Building and a tub of Sweet Martha’s cookies. Hmmm, all of the attactions she wanted to see revolved around food. What is it they say about the acorn and the tree?

We also spent a lot of time in the animal buildings – mostly the poultry house, laughing at all the weird chickens. Later in the day, we met up with @garciasn and the Budget Nazi for a cold Summit (being that they were out of the Summit beer on a stick, we settled for pints of our faves – an EPA early in the day, and a Red Ale with Bill). Click here for Bill’s write-up.

We strolled around the Grandstand looking at junk and visited our friends at the Swarm booth (Swarm it up!), where the girls got some souvenirs. Because we just don’t have enough Swarm gear already.

Came home just before supper, then thought we’d try Ramy’s Pizza in Apple Valley, after hearing everybody rave about it. The pizzas were pretty good (we had a cheese, a pepperoni and onion and a thin-crust Margherita, the way god intended). Katie had chicken Alfredo and said it could have had more Alfredo flavor.

Some more pix from our day at the fair: